hi. nice to meet you.
one time I was working at Dolly Parton’s water park as a photographer in the lazy river, and taking pictures and what not and I look up and see this very familiar black man floating in a tube toward me.
and it is Akon. So I’m like ‘hey Akon would you like a picture with your family today?’ He is all like ‘no thank you sweetie’ and I was all “well you have a good day, Akon”
he said you too and floated on.
(Source: landofbluesmoke, via blals)
| me in my head: | i'm going to get my life together and read classic novels and drink green tea and eat really healthy and wear cute outfits and make interesting artwork and spend lots of time outside. i'm going to start biking everywhere and walking and listening to lots of new indie bands that i've always wanted to listen to and take bubble baths and my life is just going to be amazing. |
| me in reality: | well. today i think i'm going to watch netflix in my pjs and eat ice cream. and if i'm feeling really productive i might shower. |
Today, 5/18/13, marks the 10th anniversary of Crazy in Love! The start of Beyoncé’s iconic solo career.
10 years and more relevant than ever as a solo artist - love you Bey!
(via ryaninwonderland)
so I was forced to go to church and all these babies were screaming and I said “we wouldn’t be having this problem if the church supported abortion” and the guy next to me almost had a heart attack
(via ryaninwonderland)
“If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company”
— Jean-Paul Sartre (via man-and-camera)
(Source: man-and-camera, via tinytruant)
“As a child I never heard one woman say to me, “I love my body.” Not my mother, my elder sister, my best friend. No one woman has ever said, “I am so proud of my body.” So I make sure to say it to Mia, because a positive physical outlook has to start at an early age.”
— Kate Winslet (via wrists)
(via tinytruant)
“
If
you came back
I’d treat you like a lost Matisse
couch you like a Pasha
dance a Sevillana
leap and back flip like a Taiwanese diva
bang cymbals like a Chinese Opera
roar like a Fellini soundtrack
and laugh like the little dog that
watched the cow jump over the moon
I’d be your clown
I’d tell you funny stories and
paint clouds on the walls of my house
dress the bed in it’s best linen
And while you slept
I’d hold my breath and watch you move like a sunflower
— Once Again I Prove the Theory of Relativity — Sandra Cisneros (via tortuugaconmuletas)
(via iguessthatscool)
“Dear San Antonio de Padua,
Can you please help me find a man
who isn’t a pain in the nalgas. […]
I would appreciate it very much if you
sent me a man who speaks Spanish,
who at least can pronounce his name
the way it’s supposed to be pronounced.
Someone please who never calls himself
“Hispanic” unless he’s applying for a grant
from Washington, D.C.
Can you send me a man man.
I mean someone who’s not ashamed
to be seen cooking or cleaning or looking
after himself. In other words, a man who
acts like an adult. Not one who’s never lived alone,
never bought his own underwear, never ironed
his own shirts, never even heated his own tortillas.
In other words, don’t send me someone like
my brothers who my mother ruined with too much chichi,
or I’ll throw him back.
I’ll turn your statue upside down
until you send him to me.
I’ve put up with too much too long,
and now I’m just too intelligent, too powerful,
too beautiful, too sure of who I am finally to deserve anything less.”
— Sandra Cisneros, from “Little Miracles, Kept Promises” (via floricanto-desnuda)
(via iguessthatscool)
